All of my kiddos are special and important, but there are a
handful of them that are tattooed on my heart. They have changed me in a way
that makes me know my life is more beautiful forever because they are in it.
They are the faces I see when I think about what the Kingdom of God is. I would
do anything for these kids and they make me realize I can do so little. Most of
them have endured unspeakable evil and still have a smile that could light up
an entire town.
Last Sunday we were beyond blessed to be gifted with tickets
for a few of our patients, all of them those really special, heart-tattoo kind of people, to an outdoor circus here in Port-au-Prince. It
sounded like quite an ordeal to take three patients from the spinal cord injury
unit and two from pediatrics anywhere, given the combination of their physical
states and our available transportation. Challenge accepted.
It took us about thirty minutes to load up. Three
half-paralyzed young adults in an X-terra, wound vacs and wheelchairs and all.
The circus brought out the creativity in all of us. The three of them have been
at the hospital for months without leaving. By golly, we were gonna make this
happen.
The rest of us piled into the land-cruiser. Our amazing
drivers gingerly guided us around potholes and through the city. We finally
arrived, late, and got unloaded, got wheelchairs through the gravel, and were
shown to the front row.
If you’ve ever been to a circus, hopefully it was a joyful
and exciting experience. If you’ve ever known beautiful and resilient kids who
have endured trauma and illness, I’m sure you have been crazy blessed by
them. Can I describe to you what the combination is like? I’ll do my best.
This beautiful teenage girl was paralyzed by a gunshot wound
to the neck. She was my patient in the pediatric unit for over a month when I
first got here and I was privileged to care for her, encouraging her to be strong
as she was fighting infections and enduring care for the massive wounds she’d
developed. We transferred her to the Spinal Cord Injury unit about a month ago
and now I get to just visit her and be her friend, which is the greatest gift
of all. She’s getting so much stronger. She smiles often and jokes with her
friends on the unit. They tease me about my Kreyol and she speaks slowly and
clearly to help me understand. She is one of my most favorite humans ever.
These two young men are in the Spinal Cord Unit, both paralyzed
waist down as well. They have been through horrifying trauma, followed by
emotional abuse and neglect from others as a result of their physical injuries,
yet still have the biggest beaming smiles I’ve ever seen.
This teenage boy has taught me more about God’s faithfulness
than maybe anyone else ever. I plan to share much more about his story another
day, but for now just know that his life is a complete miracle. I saw him stand
on death’s doorstep over and over again, but never give up- not even when we
were doing CPR to keep his heart going twice in one week. Even when he was
intubated and on a breathing machine he still managed to give me snarky
teenager attitude. Just thinking about this boy gives me joy, let alone getting
to go with him on a super fun outing for the first time in two months.
This sweet kiddo is
another miracle. He has a crazy wonky congenital heart defect that usually kids
usually don’t survive past infancy without cardiac surgery. It is amazing and beautiful that he is
alive and he is just the sweetest ever. He was so enraptured by the circus I
could have watched his face the entire time.
So all ten of our entourage made our
fashionably late entrance and formed our own front row during the sword
swallower’s act. Then this happened…
Which I can totally do, can't you?
Then a little of this…
Then the magician and his lovely assistant "cut an unsuspecting child in half"! I held my breath...
Can you feel the suspense?!
Then the clowns, who also double as the super buff male acrobat duo did a fantastic routine to the Lion King instrumental soundtrack, made complete by the ominous rain clouds in the background.
Not sure why you would want to, but they can
Who's the clown now, huh?
So then the outdoor circus was interrupted when the ominous rain clouds became an actual downpour. We somehow got our entire crew under a tent, via a combination of wheelchair wheelies and piggy-back rides, to wait it out and had a dance party to the music of the impromptu rain parade.
But the show must go on! And eventually it did just that...
And one of our friends even made it into the show!
Then this happened. Yes it really did, in all its tight-panted, bedazzled-vested glory. This is the part where I actually almost peed myself from laughing so hard.
We came up with a lot of names for this act, most of which aren't appropriate to share here.
Boom, Baby!! That JUST happened! You're welcome.
This is real life.
Peed. Myself. Laughing.
Then the grand finale fire show. Definitely the way to go out with a bang. And fireworks, which I don't think any of the kids had seen before. Just amazing.
Best. Night. Ever.
What a beautiful celebration of life! The joy and laughter and smiles, oh man. I will never forget that night as long as I live.
When we got back to the hospital and went to see our friends get settled back into the unit, I poked my head into the NICU and saw the look on the nurse's face. A short while later our evening ended with us holding a premature baby while she died. And you know, I wouldn't separate that part of the night from the rest. Because you have to take it all together. The joy and pain, grief and rejoicing. It's the realest, truest life I've ever experienced. And such beauty lies in the contrast, knowing that it is all God's, both sides a perfect illustration of his faithfulness and love towards us. He is the King of life and death; the author of big and small miracles, like boys who live and a night of circus joy.
