Swinging

(From May 19)

So here I am back in Haiti. It is finally sinking in that I’m actually here. Now that all my clothes are soaked in sweat and I have a few mosquito bites, I think I’m starting to believe it. It has been interesting to see what has changed in the last six months and what is exactly the same. One huge improvement was the new airport building that I was received by. Last time I came the arrivals wing was essentially just a warehouse, since they had to rebuild the main building after the earthquake. Now it looks like a real airport, with luggage turnstiles, bathrooms, and a few shops even. More roads are paved and they have even painted lines on some of them. Everyone still drives wherever they want, mind you, but it looks nice.

Back at the hospital it was wonderful to be greeted by many of the same sweet friends. There are some exciting new things here, like the solar power panels that are covering a couple of the rooftops and the new isolettes in the NICU. I didn’t have long to stand and wonder at things, however, since I worked the night shift a few hours after I got back to the hospital.

I think the phrase “back in the swing of things” pretty accurately describes this week. I felt like I was oscillating constantly: between harried nerves and calm confidence, laughter and tears, adrenaline and exhaustion. I am finding my flow again, remembering how to manage time and patients, and getting re-conditioned for twelve hour shifts of running and doing. It’s a good thing I like rollercoasters, because that is exactly what nursing is like. I’m strapped in, hands high, screaming my head off. One minute it’s an IV that needs replaced while babies are crying and monitors are alarming, then it’s hours of relaxing and organizing, then it’s a new patient with fever and seizures and I’m off to the races. It is horrific traumas and small steps of improvement. Some moments I am swinging with ease, in others I feel totally off balance, but if you just keep going things will always come back around and your feet will feel on solid ground again.

Each evening I like to sit on the roof and think about the day, soaking in the brilliant beauty of sky and mountains. And somehow, no matter how calm or crazy the day was, I am always so thankful. This is the hardest, best thing I have ever done and I am so blessed to be back here. I can’t wait to see what the swing will bring tomorrow.